


Companionable

by tooberjoober



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M, set after Metamorphosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 15:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20428571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooberjoober/pseuds/tooberjoober
Summary: Bones feels like Jim’s speech about the companion was a little too true to life. So he decides it’s time to confront Jim about his feelings towards Spock.





	Companionable

**Author's Note:**

> idk where this went really. But ya know I enjoyed writing it so hopefully you’ll enjoy reading it. If you do let me know because I love feedback!  
Enjoy!

“That was…quite the speech you gave back on that planet.” Bones said with a raised eyebrow, taking a sip from his glass of scotch. 

”Hm?” Jim glanced up from where he was nursing his own glass. “Oh.” He cracked a small smile. “You know those are my specialty.” He said with a halfhearted shrug. 

“This one felt different.” Bones said slowly. He put his glass down on his desk, eyes scrutinizing Jim’s face. “Some of the things you said…struck differently. Like you knew what you were talking about.”

Jim scoffed, looking away. “What? Are you a therapist now? Trying to psychoanalyze me?” 

”I’m your friend, Jim. I know you.” Bones retorted. He paused for a moment. “What was it you said? ‘You’re two different things. You can’t love him.’” 

”Bones, I don’t know what you’re getting at, but knock it off.” Jim said defensively. 

”That’s just it, isn’t it? Loving something different from you. Afraid it can’t feel the same way because of your differences.” McCoy accused. 

“Shut up.” Jim snapped. 

”If you didn’t know what I was talking about you wouldn’t respond so harshly, would you?” The doctor said. 

”You need to stop or I’m leaving.” Jim responded harshly, moving to stand, with quick reflexes Bones grabbed his wrist. 

”Is he important to you, Jim?” He asked harshly, his hand in an iron grip around Jim’s wrist. “Is he more important to you than almost anything?” He pulled his friend down, holding his wrist to his desk. “You can’t expect me to pretend like I don’t see it, Jim.” 

”I don’t care what you see, there’s nothing there.” Jim snapped, wrenching his hand from the doctor’s grasp. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said lamely, rubbing his wrist. 

”You know exactly what I’m talking about.” McCoy responded, crossing over his chest. “The companion that doesn’t know what love is. Spock.” 

”You’re wrong.” Jim swallowed. “I don’t feel that way.” He argued weakly, although he knew McCoy had him pinned. 

“If you wanna keep deluding yourself go ahead, but I can’t support it.” Bones shook his head. “I can’t watch you put yourself through the torture of loving someone that can’t love you back.” 

”What would you recommend, Doctor?” Jim practically spat. “I can’t tell him. I won’t send him away. Delusion’s all I got.” 

”You know it’s hopeless.” Bones said after a moment, his gaze locked onto Jim as he returned to his seat.

”Yeah.” Jim practically spat. “I know it’s hopeless, but Bones-“ He reached out for the Doctor before he thought better of it. “Sometimes it…” He looked down at his hands. “Sometimes it feels like…” 

”Jim, you know better.” McCoy scolded, his voice harsh. 

”I should, shouldn’t I?” Jim snapped back. “But sometimes he’ll look at me and he’ll say something just…something just wonderful and I get the stupid idea in my head that maybe he could love me too.” 

”Jim, he’s Vulcan.” Bones sighed. 

”He’s half human.” Jim responded. “And you don’t know him like I do.” Jim pushed himself away from the desk, starting to pace. “You…you don’t see the little smiles. You don’t hear the little things he says-“ 

”You’re imagining things-“ 

”He told me I make him believe in luck.” Jim interrupted. “That when he feels friendship for me, he’s ashamed. He calls me illogical, but there’s fondness in his eyes. He puts himself in danger to keep me out of it.” 

”Jim-“ 

”You saw him smile!” Jim continued, finally making his way back over to the desk. “After Vulcan, you saw him!” He sank back into the chair. “I don’t think…I’ve ever been the source of that much joy.” He shook his head slightly. 

”Jim…” Bones’ voice was softer, his eyes locked onto something behind the Captain’s head. 

Jim didn’t notice. “I love him, Bones. What can I do? He’s my friend. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way…I love him dammit.” Jim finally looked up to meet the doctor’s eyes. “What’s the matter with you, you look as if you’ve seen a-“ Jim sucked in a breath, cutting himself off as he turned and saw his first officer, standing wide-eyed in the doorway. Jim cleared his throat, straightening his spine. “Mister Spock I…I didn’t hear you come in. What seems to be the matter?” 

Spock blinked back visible surprise at the Captain’s sudden composure. “I…” He has an eidetic memory and yet somehow he forgot what he came in for. “Reports.” He suddenly remembered. “I…I wished to…” He swallowed. “To coordinate our reports with what we are and are not telling Starfleet. In order to keep Cochrane’s privacy.” He cleared his throat. 

“We’ll discuss it tomorrow, Spock.” Jim said with a sigh. “As I am sure you can see, the doctor and I are already inebriated.” He raised his glass, which Bones has refilled while he paced, and knocked back the drink. 

”Yes, sir.” Spock nodded, hesitating by the door. 

”Anything else, Mister Spock?” Jim let out a breath through his nose, waiting for the inevitable, but hoping it wouldn’t come. 

Spock waited for a moment before he spoke. ”I should like to speak with you a moment, alone if possible.” He glanced over to McCoy. 

The doctor stood, grabbing his scotch and glasses and leaving the room, grumbling about his office. 

”What’s on your mind, Spock?” Jim rose from his seat, stretching slightly as he turned to face the Vulcan. He wondered how long he could feign ignorance for. Maybe till the end of the mission. That would be ideal. 

”I…I did not mean to eavesdrop on your conversation.” Spock said slowly, walking over to his Captain. 

”No harm, no foul.” Jim shrugged, despite the fact that there was about to be serious harm. 

“I…I must inquire. You…you could not have been speaking about me. Correct?” Spock felt illogical for asking. Of course Jim didn’t feel that way towards him. But the illogical half of his heart decided to take up hope and beat out of his side. 

Jim let out a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, Spock.” He shook his head slightly. “If I could’ve stopped myself I would’ve, but I can’t.” He turned his gaze upwards towards the Vulcan. “I…I know you can’t or you don’t and that’s okay-“ 

”You…” Spock’s eyes widened. “You love me?” 

”I’m sorry.” Jim responded, lowering his gaze. 

”Jim.” Spock lowered himself to meet his Captain’s gaze. “Jim, I love you as well.” 

”You don’t have to say that.” Jim said in disbelief, his heart beginning to race. 

”I do.” Spock said slowly, beginning to close the distance between them. “To answer otherwise would be a lie.” 

”I know Vulcans can lie.” Jim responded, watching as Spock came closer. 

”I would not lie to you.” Spock pressed his lips to Jim’s in a barely restrained kiss. Both were still in awe that the person they had been pining for could have actually loved them back. Spock pulled back slightly, straightening himself to his full height. “I love you, James T. Kirk.” 

Jim threw his arms around Spock’s shoulders, pulling him down into another kiss, this one more heated than the last. Spock’s hands went to his waist and pulled him close as he leaned against McCoy’s desk. 

”I’ve been waiting for this for so long.” Jim murmured between brushes of lips. 

McCoy interrupted, banging on the door.. “I don’t want you horndogs knocking boots in my office.” McCoy called. 

”Perhaps another time.” Spock murmured into Jim’s ear. Jim leaned up to kiss Spock one last time, before they left the office for the turbolift. 

“How long?” Jim asked softly as they rode the lift. 

”How long?” Spock repeated. 

”How long have you felt like this?” Jim asked. 

“Vulcans are born with…certain parts of their minds and souls empty, waiting to be filled by those of importance to them.” Spock offered two fingers to Jim. “Jim, logically I have not always known you, but illogically somehow I have.” 

Jim accepted the fingers, leaning up to kiss Spock softly. “It was…after Edith, I realized it, I think.” He said slowly. “The first time you called me Jim.” 

“If you wish for a particular moment…” Spock looked thoughtful for a second. “I believe I first recognized it as fondness after Omicron Ceti III.” 

”After I insulted you so much?” Jim frowned slightly. 

”I know you did not mean it.” Spock responded. They stepped off the lift. “I observed the difference between the fake happiness and love and…”

Jim glanced around the hall to make sure they were alone before he pulled Spock down into another kiss, soft and gentle. “I love you too.”


End file.
